Today I'm laughing at a friend, something I probably do at least three times a day because I like to poke fun at people for giggles. I'm mean like that.
Why am I laughing though, well, last night she was rude to a complete stranger at a club. Why? Because in his "posh", condescending way he questioned why she studied International Relations. I'm laughing at her to make her feel bad (again, a meanie) but I would do exactly the same.
When people question my life decisions, in that condescending, judging kind of way, I feel outright rage. I make my life decisions on an individual basis, I have my own interpretation on what makes me happy and what drives me so for a stranger to judge what I have chosen for myself is illogical. How can they see through my perspective and know what's right for me? People who are insecure about their own life choices question others.
Here's the problem though: I do it too.
I actively try not to make judgements on people's largest life choices, this does not mean to say I am not curious as to what drove them to said choices but I will never include a condescending or negative remark if I can help it. Everyday decisions, however, I will judge into the ground. What I fail to realise is that we are all fallible human beings, we make mistakes, we go through periods where we can't even lift a finger without wondering whether the energy expended is worth it. I do all of these things frequently, today I have done next to nothing because I'm emotionally and physically drained. When people say they've done nothing all day, I fail to see the reasons behind it but I am more than willing to justify my inaction with namby-pamby (British all day, every day) excuses.
Do I set harsher standards for others as an attempt to ignore my own failures? By focusing on other's weaknesses do I successfully avoid mine?
It's something I have to stop and that I want to stop. It's not a simple cognitive switch but a learning process, I have to practice not judging people for their actions, I have to catch myself in the moment and explore it rather than dismiss it off hand.
Will I have success? Who knows.
Will the process at least make me a better person? Yes.
