Today I'm laughing at a friend, something I probably do at least three times a day because I like to poke fun at people for giggles. I'm mean like that.
Why am I laughing though, well, last night she was rude to a complete stranger at a club. Why? Because in his "posh", condescending way he questioned why she studied International Relations. I'm laughing at her to make her feel bad (again, a meanie) but I would do exactly the same.
When people question my life decisions, in that condescending, judging kind of way, I feel outright rage. I make my life decisions on an individual basis, I have my own interpretation on what makes me happy and what drives me so for a stranger to judge what I have chosen for myself is illogical. How can they see through my perspective and know what's right for me? People who are insecure about their own life choices question others.
Here's the problem though: I do it too.
I actively try not to make judgements on people's largest life choices, this does not mean to say I am not curious as to what drove them to said choices but I will never include a condescending or negative remark if I can help it. Everyday decisions, however, I will judge into the ground. What I fail to realise is that we are all fallible human beings, we make mistakes, we go through periods where we can't even lift a finger without wondering whether the energy expended is worth it. I do all of these things frequently, today I have done next to nothing because I'm emotionally and physically drained. When people say they've done nothing all day, I fail to see the reasons behind it but I am more than willing to justify my inaction with namby-pamby (British all day, every day) excuses.
Do I set harsher standards for others as an attempt to ignore my own failures? By focusing on other's weaknesses do I successfully avoid mine?
It's something I have to stop and that I want to stop. It's not a simple cognitive switch but a learning process, I have to practice not judging people for their actions, I have to catch myself in the moment and explore it rather than dismiss it off hand.
Will I have success? Who knows.
Will the process at least make me a better person? Yes.
LOVED IT! I know exactly what you mean, I had my first ambitions shot down by some people who said "really? you want to do THAT?" which is fine if they thought it, you can't help what you think, but to actually SAY to someone "i think the route that you've planned your whole life around is wrong" - what is the person in question meant to take from that? back to the drawing board? fuck that and fuck them too :P and yes, i sometimes think it to about others but don't voice it, they know what they want so they should completely go all guns blazing toward it, or else i find that if your not striving towards what you truly want EVEN if others call your goal "unrealistic" then you're failing YOURSELF, set a goal and go as far towards as you can before you die, i think the pursuit of happiness is the meaning of life, or else why would our brains make some things feel GOOD and some things feel NOT SO GOOD. its our brains way of saying "YES CARRY ON DOING THAT, YOU LIKE THAT, THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE THIS" and as to MY life route, its all based on luck and trying to keep myself sane with the concept that "life is too short to do things that will not make you happy" so i did that auditon YEAH!
ReplyDeleteand got the job... < important
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